Microaggressions - Part 2

        After I made my original post, I thought of another incident of microaggression that I wanted to share.
       One day my director told me about a conversation that she and her mother-in-law had about her 4 year old son. Her son had asked for a play kitchen for his birthday and her mother-in-law was aghast that she would even consider buying him a kitchen. She was told that she should buy him "boy" toys and wait to get a kitchen for her daughter later. My director argued that she should get him toys that he was interested in and that kitchens aren't just for girls.
      I sincerely hope that her son did not hear any of this conversation because I am sure  he would have started second guessing himself since he loves his Gram and values her opinion. This conversation totally invalidated his desires and made it seem as though there was something wrong with his wish to play in the kitchen.
     Not surprisingly, my director was very angry that her mother-in-law would take this stance with her. Her anger was two-pronged; first, she felt as though her child's sexuality was being questioned, and second, she felt as though her parenting was being questioned as well.

                                                  Experiences With Microaggressions

My family and I were recently having a discussion about the boxes you are asked to mark regarding your ethnicity on certain applications. The discussion started because of the fact that my daughters, who are ¼ Japanese, both mark Asian. Sometimes there is a disconnect however, because one of them has more characteristics of an Asian person, while the other has more Caucasian characteristics.

Anyway, during this discussion, my son-in-law pointed out that on recent applications that he had filled out the category of Black/Hispanic was no longer an option. He was adopted as a child, but was told that one of his natural parents was Black and one was Puerto Rican; so he has always marked Black/Hispanic. He complained, “Now I don’t know which one to mark.” The problem is that the new system wants him to choose between those two identifying markers; but he always viewed himself as an amalgamation of the two. I think it would be a different scenario if he had grown up in a household where one of these two cultures existed; but, as it is, he is left feeling that there is no category that truly identifies who he is.

There are so many different ethnicities in the world that it becomes impossible to capture them all in the confines of the few choices offered on these applications. In order to address this reality, the powers that be have included the category of “Other”. But what message is sent to those who have to mark “Other” because nothing else truly describes them? I think it says that they are somehow not normal, which is unfair and inaccurate. In reality, very few of us fit entirely into one category or another. Perhaps we should all start marking “Other” until the powers that be realize that the answers are pointless and stop asking us to place ourselves into categories.

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

 

Person #1 – 58 year old female Pastor

Culture refers to the set of people within which a person lives – townies, roadies, artists, etc.

Diversity is all the differences that can be found inside and outside of the culture groups.

Person #2 – 24 year old female preschool teacher

            Culture is the practices and beliefs that are specific to a particular area.

            Diversity is an overall term that describes the differences between cultures.

Person #3 – 25 year old male realtor

            Culture is the practices of people based on a geographical area in which they live that manifest themselves in the way they live.

            Diversity is the variety of cultures.

            I found it interesting that both younger respondents focused on the variety of cultures in their definitions of diversity. I think that this may be due to the fact that the first person has moved around more and, therefore, has had more experience with different cultures and the diversity of many different people. Plus, as a pastor, she deals with people on a more intimate level than most, so she gets to see the diversity within specific groups in an up close and personal way.

My Family Culture

This week’s assignment has the class imagining that a major catastrophe has struck and my family and I are being evacuated to another country. We are allowed to bring one change of clothes and three small items that are special to us. This was a difficult task for me, although maybe not for the reason one might think. I had difficulty deciding what three things to take because, personally, the fact that my immediate family were going to be with me would be the most comforting.

I think the first item that I would choose to take would be music, I am unsure what form that music would take. If the new country has utilities that would allow me to recharge an MP3 player, then I would take that with me. If the utilities would not be available, then I would take a songbook with me. My family and I all love music of varying types, so the MP3 would be the best option because it would contain all different kinds of music that means something to us. If we couldn’t take the MP3, the songbook we have is a hymnal; this is all the same type of music, but it contains songs that are meaningful to us, so that would be a comfort. Because we don’t like just one type of music, I am sure that we would eventually find music that we like in the new country, but it would be comforting to have familiar music with us because it would help us remember special times in our lives.

The majority of my family also likes to read. Assuming that our new country would not speak our language, I think it would be good to take reading material with me. The book that I would choose to take along would be the Bible. This item would provide comfort while allowing us to engage in an activity that we enjoy.

The third item that I would take would be a photo album. I chose this item based on what I have heard from families that have lost everything in a fire or tornado. The thing that these families mourn losing the most is their photographs. I think the reason for the connection to photos is that they help us relive past events as we look at them. If my family and I were to lose everything else, I would hope to still have photos that represent my family’s history.

Now the assignment gets even more difficult, what would I do if, once we arrived at our destination, I was told that I could only keep one of the items that I had brought with me. As I said before, I believe that my family and would find music that we enjoyed in our new country, so I would be willing to give up the music that I brought with me. With some searching, I might be able to find reading material in English – possibly even a Bible, so I would be willing to give that up as well. The thing that would definitely not be able to be replaced would be the photos, so that is what I would choose to keep. These pictures could be shown to future family members to help them understand where we came from and learn about family who were not able to travel with us to the new country.