My Connections to Play

As a child, I was not a huge fan of the Mr. Rogers Show; I preferred Sesame Street, Captain Kangaroo, and Electric Company. But, as an adult, I have come to admire Fred Rogers and his commitment to children. He had an innate understanding of children and how they are wired.

Albert Einstein has been recognized as one of the most brilliant minds of the twentieth century. Perhaps those of us of more average intelligence should take heed of this statement. I am sure that Dr. Einstein had much more time to play than the majority of children in America today; it obviously did not keep him from reaching his fullest potential. Why then is most of America convinced that allowing children time to play freely will somehow hinder their intellectual development?

This picture depicts my favorite kind of play that I participated in as a child. Whether I was playing by myself with my brothers, or with other children in the neighborhood, the majority of our time was spent in imaginative play. Some imaginative play included the use of actual toys, like cap guns and a bouncy horse when we played cowboy; while at other times we used items in place of toys, like a towel as a cape or my mom’s silver gravy boat as a magic lamp. Still other types of play only needed the great outdoors – hills, trees, rocks and streams.                  

 

This particular photo displays an adapted piece of playground equipment. Society has deemed these to be too hazardous to be included on playgrounds anymore; but, when I was growing up, this was my favorite piece of equipment on the school playground. There was nothing better than pushing the merry-go-round as fast as I could and then jumping on to enjoy the ride – preferably by hanging on to one of the bars, leaning out and facing the sky as it spun around.

                As I think back about my play history, it seems that the majority of my memories come from the summers. I believe that this is due not to the fact that I didn’t play during the rest of the year, but to the amount of time dedicated to playing during the summer. We played pretty much all day, from the time we woke up until the time our parents would make us come in at night. My mom was a school teacher, she was at home with us, but she never told us what to play. If we told her what we were playing and asked for help with something, she would help us. She helped us build sheet tents, tied on “capes”, etc., but most of all she allowed us the freedom to explore our environment.

                I remember one time when we had found a bunch of little, hard, green balls in the woods. She told us that they were walnuts but the nuts were inside the little balls. When we noticed that our hands were turning colors from handling them, she explained that was stain like carpenters used on wood. We spent days fooling around with those things, trying to figure out how we could dry them out so we could get to the nuts inside. Mom provided different things that we asked for and reminded us not to wear any of our favorite clothes when we were playing with the walnuts so we didn’t have to worry about staining them; but she didn’t share any thoughts about how to accomplish our goal. To be honest, I can’t remember if we ever got them dried out or not; but I do remember playing “factory” on and off for days as we tried to figure it out.

                I believe the biggest difference in the play that my brothers and I participated in and that of children today is freedom. When I was a child we were permitted to play in the woods behind our house by ourselves, or walk to the park or a friend’s house by ourselves, as long as we told Mom where were headed. I don’t know of very many children who have that kind of freedom today to explore their environment. In fact, society has become so safety conscious that a mother was recently arrested for allowing her 7 year old son to walk to the park, which was ¼ of a mile away, by himself; she was charged with child endangering. Apparently, even providing a means of communication for your child does not prevent the community from raising a stink. Another mother was arrested when she allowed her child to play in the park, which was across the street from her job, while she worked even though the child had a cell phone and pre-arranged times to physically check in with her mom. This child, by the way, was a pre-teen. While I understand the underlying fears that cause us to be so watchful, it still saddens me to know that my kids didn’t have as much freedom as I did, and my grandkids may have even less.

                I have continued to enjoy playing throughout my life. This fact may be part of the reason I have chosen this profession since it is one of the few jobs in which having a playful spirit is a job requirement…or, at least it should be.

Relationship Reflection

            The relationships in my life which are the most important to me are those with my family, particularly my daughters. I am close with both of them; we enjoy hanging out with each other. My oldest daughter not only lives with me, along with her husband, but she works with me as well. For a while we even worked in the same classroom. People made comments about the two of us being “freakishly close” and said that, although they loved their mothers, there is no way they could spend that much time together without being at each other’s throats. Our relationship is such that this close proximity is not an issue. We have similar dispositions and agree on many subjects, and we know when to give the other their space without making a big deal about it.

            My youngest daughter’s temperament is more a reflection of her father than of mine but, like her father, we have learned to appreciate each other’s opinions. She frequently makes me laugh. We like spending time together, whether we’re out and about or just sitting around watching television. Our relationship has evolved as she has gotten older. Her father passed away when she was a sophomore in high school, and there were times when our relationship was strained a little as we both were learning to adapt to our new situation. (For a while it was just the two of us because my oldest had gone away to college.) Although I know she still respects me as a parent, I feel like now we are friends as well.

            Another relationship that I enjoy is one with a former pastor, and boss, and his wife. When we worked together, we quickly developed such a good working relationship that people thought we had known each other before I had started working there. My husband and I would spend time hanging out with him and his wife and our children became friends. (My daughters occasionally refer to them as their other set of parents.) They have been present for many milestones in my life, from making a four hour trip to preach at my husband’s funeral, to making a nine hour trip to attend my daughter’s wedding. Although we are no longer in close proximity geographically, we remain close friends and make an effort to see each other at least once a year.

            For reasons I will not go into here, I tend to be a rather guarded person. It is not easy for me to open up with people in my private life, which can make it difficult to start new relationships. However, for some reason, I don’t usually have this issue when it comes to work. I have been able to maintain positive relationships with more than one former employer, former employees, colleagues, and both former and current parents of children in my class.

            Any relationship that lasts for any length of time will have periods of disagreement about one thing or another. I think the key to riding out these disagreements, and maintaining the relationship, is to recognize that they do not define the relationship; the love and respect that you have for that individual is not changed just because you have differing opinions about something. This is true whether that relationship is with a family member, a co-worker, or a family member of a student. It is especially important for me to remember that fact as I seek to partner with those families.