The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

When I was in grade school, it was not unusual for a group of us to play kickball during recess. On one occasion, it was decided that we would play boys against girls. After this had been decided, a boy who didn’t typically play kickball came and asked to play. Since he didn’t normally play, the athletic boys decided they did not want him on their team; they told him that he would have to play on the girls’ team if he wanted to play. This sent the message to him that he was not accepted by his peers. The main group of boys had passed judgement on him and decided that he didn’t fit in with them. I imagine that this was very hurtful to him.

I became angered by their treatment of this boy and stood up for him. I told them he was obviously a boy and, since they were the ones who had decided to play boys against girls, they had to let him play on their team. I can’t help but wonder if decided to play because of the fact that it was boys vs girls instead of two people picking teams. Theoretically, this scenario would have saved him from the humiliation of being picked last – knowing that no one really wanted him on their team. But, if that was his reasoning, it backfired on him when the boys reacted the way they did. That was the only time I witnessed them saying or doing anything overtly mean to him, but I know they excluded him and he never seemed to really have a group of friends at school.

I think that the only way this scenario could have been more just would have been if the boys’ perception of what it is to be “manly” were different.  They assumed that he was not really a boy since he was not athletic; and, because he was not athletic, he was of no value to them. If the boys had not been taught to equate athleticism with masculinity, and masculinity with value, this scenario would have gone much differently.